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Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Day Dreaming

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545pm (Long day at the office)

-Going home. I always do this, the train shit.
I got tons of work left for
tomorrow on my table.(sigh)

607pm (The Train Shit)

- There's something different today as i arrive
in the train station. It's a bit crowded. Looks like
someone threw a party on the train station. lol
as if i care,

610pm (The Waiting)

- Waiting for the train
- Sitting on a bench and roaming my eyes around.
As if I'm new to this.

612pm (The Dreaming)

- I remember those days, When we were still in
school. I usually do this. Waiting for her on this
very same train station.
-She'll always say "Kanina ka pa?" Acting like that she care.
- Ill answer "Ngayon2 lng, 5 mins"(Stupid)

617pm (The Chances)

- When we ride the train. It's always like i won on a lottery.
I get the chance to stand so close to her that i could smell her
fumes that has become more of a drug to me. I get the chance
to stare on her beautiful brown eyes. I get the chance to tell her
that i love her. All she can reply is a tiny slap on the face.
Then She'll say "Tumigil ka jan".
- I love her so much. I always come back to those 15 mins train ride with her.

625pm (The truth)

- Everytime that train ride ends. Every dream ends.
- "Minsan pauunahin niya ako, minsan pauunahin ko siya"
(scared to get caught)

637pm (The Shocking Truth)

- So much of my day dreaming. It's been 30 mins.
Where's the fucking train that i've been waiting. Did i get
caught day dreaming and million of trains passed by?(sigh)

- I heard an announcement from a somewhat voice
"Code Red", about 5 times.
then. "please stay away from the yellow lane"

- What's with the party over there? As i try to see what
the hell is going on there...
"Excuse me" i said

- I saw a body lying on the floor. Someone said
"Nagpakamatay, wala yata sa sarili,. nakatulala lang eh.
Tas biglang tumalon o nahulog nung paparating na yung tren"

645 (End)

- It was me. My breathing became much harder.

Death is Inevitable : Always keep that on your mind!

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Inevitable derives from the Latin word vitare (to avoid) and the prefix in (meaning not or without). It refers to something that cannot be avoided.
-wikipedia

"Death is Inevitable. It always waits for us, you can't hide from it and definitely you cant escape from it"

Are you afraid of being forgotten?

Are you afraid that you may not see her or him the next day?

Are you afraid that when you die., would he or she show up in your burial and cry?

Are you afraid that death will put your stories on a hang?

Before asking your self this questions. Ask your self "Did i live my life at it's full?"

Living life at its full is what ive learned from my past. I may be young to say this, but believe me, when i lost a friend when i was at college, that's the time i started believing how short life can be. The very first that i heard the news about her death., i didnt believed it. I even laughed at it. Sorry but im just trying to be honest. The next day morning? My friend sms me asking what time are we going to the funeral of our friend. That changed my life forever. I started shaking and crying. Regrets started flowing on my heart. Questions filled my brain. Every friend of mine cries. As we arrived in paz, i saw his boyfriend crying at the front of the door of her funeral room. All can't believe what happened to our friend. It was really sudden. All people can do is cry.

Well, all i can say is she thought us everything. That experience thought us everything. May be im an "emo" but that's the way i want to live my life and i am living at it now. Death is inevitable. I live my life without any regrets.

And now, I am cherishing my friends and the moments i have with them, more than ever. I care for my family more than ever. I focus on my goal without any hesitations. I love her without any regrets. I dress black without any 2nd thoughts. I listen to Dashboard Confessionals without regrets. I care for Jessica - my buddy without any 2nd thoughts. I care for Missy even she's in denmark. I care for Rez with all my heart. I care for Gieh. I care for kreng though she makes me believe that girls are hard to get.hehehe..joke- (I know kreng would not believe me that it is a joke.BELAT!). I care for jheng - my consulsultant;). I care for Des, never ending korean movie crack down. I care for my brothers, I care for my pamangkin "Rylai". I love my mom - She's the best. I care for my work. I care for my work-pals. I care for my self!

I learned how to be manly enough ready on what's coming next. How about you, are you ready when death haunts you?

P.S. sorry kung puro girls. hehehe.. sorry if i miss names..hehehe.lol
dont be afraid. d pako mamatay. and definitely, ill stay on someones heart the way jenny stayed in our hearts;) The picture was taken for real. My nose always does that. That blood flowing thing.lol.. but im fine;)


hatred and heartache

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"There's nothing in this world so sweet as love. And next to love the sweetest thing is hate"

"To really know someone is to have loved and hated him in turn"

"Hate is misguided love."

"Just because i smile on the outside doesnt mean that i am on the inside."







Hatred and Heartaches.
by jayson bagio

Ive been counting those pains that you caused me.
You scarred my life so badly.

I always say that you are the only one that i pray for,
that may you give me love a little bit more.

I shed tears under my pillow,
knowing death is next to follow.

I had given everything,
but for you it is not even a
single thing.

Now all left is hate,
I don't believe in such words like fate.

I don't want to see you again,
stop fucking around cause i'm not
pretending to be friend.

I'm taking back sunday, promise
ill step on your neck someday.

I hate you. You caused me so much heartaches.